We're engaged!

Since I was a little girl, I've always dreamed of going on a hot air balloon ride. On October 23rd, a Saturday, Ryan surprised me with a flight! We were lucky to get up because the weather was calling for wet snow. Fate must have been smiling down on us, because the day ended up being beautiful and we got the last flight of the season. In the back of my head I thought, wouldn't this be a romantic proposal? But, as we quickly learned, hot air balloon rides are not as romantic and easy breezy as you'd think. Our take off was chaotic, with our Aussie pilot having to jump up on the basket and cut the incorrectly tied knot holding us down with an 8 inch knife (later referring himself to Crocodile Dundee). We were up in the air as high as 2200ft for about 40 minutes. There were 6 other passengers with us. Our landing was even less graceful than the take-off. Our best option for landing was a construction site - the only alternatives were a bog and an angry farmer's field. We dragged in our basket on our side for 20 very bumpy feet. All in all though, a great experience that I'd gladly do again! It took about an hour for the team to find us and load up the equipment in the trailer, after which we had a champagne toast.

Image via Flickr (Pip Johnson)

By this time, I was sure that my proposal hunch was just that - another hunch. It's not the first time I thought... hmmm.. maybe?? So, I wasn't surprised or disheartened to be "wrong" again. Ryan had plans to go to a team-only baseball party that was being hosted at his place. I suggested we go out to dinner first, so we could get the most of our romantic hot air balloon date before I would go home for the evening. He didn't like the dinner idea - he explained that the boys were cooking hot dogs, so dinner wasn't necessary. As consolation, he suggested we stop at our park bench in Strathcona Park. I thought this was a good compromise. We grabbed some hot chocolates and biscotti and headed on our way.

When we got there, we were disappointed to see another couple on "our" bench! (I suppose I should first explain why this was "our" bench, and why we couldn't just sit on any other. This is the bench where Ryan and I had our first kiss three years ago! It's also the bench where he took me after I got back from a four month work exchange in Norway to give me a candy ring, explaining that since I now had a ring, I was taken.) After carefully observing the situation, it seems the other couple was in the midst of a rather ugly break up. Rather than just leaving (as I suggested), Ryan was persistent that we'd wait for our bench. About 20 minutes later, our bench was finally cleared. We walked over there, sat down for a while and chat, and when we were about to leave, he stood me up and gave me a big hug. I could feel his heart pounding through his chest. He started talking about our first kiss on the bench, and then about the candy ring he gave me. He said, "remember how back then, I gave you a ring, and told you that now you have a ring you're taken?"...(this is when I caught on, and began giggling and nervously and excitedly saying, "shut-upppp, shut-upppp!!! shut-upppp!" He went down on one knee and did the formal, romantic proposal - "Sarah Jane Jones, I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you! Will you marry me?" Obviously, I said YES!

After a few minutes of letting it all soak in, we decided we'd go for dinner at the restaurant where we had our first date, Pilos (a delicious Greek restaurant). This is when all the texting, phone calls started, and the excitement really set in! After barely being able to eat anything because of our excitement, we left the restaurant. We wanted to bring the wine bottle so we can save the label as memorabilia. As Ryan thought would happen, the server stopped us on our way out explaining that we couldn't take the bottle. All I had to do was flash my new ring and explain that we were just engaged. Her eyes lit up with excitement and she ran inside to fetch us what she called, "the nicest cork we have!"

All in all, it was a great day that I'll never forget!!! The ring has a rose gold band and a round cut diamond! I love it!!

On top of the world in Norway

Three years ago, around this time of year, I ventured off to Norway to do a work-term exchange. I was fortunate to have a connection at Kvitfjell Ski Resort -- one of the sites of the '94 Lillehammer Olympic -- where I would work on the marketing team for the destination.
I remember being completely overwhelmed by how beautiful it was there. On my first day, we went offroading to get to the peak. I was asked to take pictures of the new lifts for a local newspaper. To my Norwegian colleagues, the scene was nothing out of the ordinary. The new Canadian intern, on the other hand, was speechless. I remember being disappointed by how the pictures turned out. They didn't seem to capture the magnitude of the landscape's beauty (looking at them now it's hard to believe). It was completely surreal. At 854ft above sea level, I remember literally feeling 'on top of the world'. There were some days we drove through clouds on our way up the mountain, just to get to work. Looking at these pictures again has brought on a huge wave of nostalgia. I loved my time there. But what I love even more is the fact that I had the guts to make this adventure happen. I can't wait to go back.

Sometimes we let the little things prevent us from seeing the bigger picture.

the view from my apartment, 2 ways

Boldness

A friend just told me that a quote I have in my profile is the same she used in her high school yearbook. I had to double check to see what quote that was. As soon as I saw it, I immediately remember why I like it so much:

Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it.

- Goethe

Simple, to the point, and exactly what I needed to remind myself.

What I do late at night

Typically when I'm home alone at nights, I end up staying up way too late, eating one chocolate too many, and inevitable getting lost in the whirlpool that is my mind.

What do I do at this juncture in my life? Is it okay to say, "I don't know?" Is that a fair response? I don't feel like it is... There are so many things that I want in life, but none of those "things" really matter. I want a home, I want a family, I want a great kitchen, nice wine glasses, good shoes... what girl doesn't want these things? But, behind all these wants, there's this great big feeling inside my gut that tells me I need to spend less time working towards these things and more time working towards figuring out what I really want.

The big question - what do I do with my life? My big answer - I don't know! It's so hard pin pointing it down. I'm 24. I'm afraid that if I stop what I'm doing now, I'll lose my steady paycheque, my "progress" in the business, my ability to buy the aforementioned "things" for myself... At the same time, I feel like my "progress" in the industry isn't bringing me closer to where I want to be. One thing I know for certain is that what I'm doing today is not what I want to be doing a year from now. So, based on this assertion, shouldn't it be easier to say, "okay, then do something else!?" I'm afraid that I'll spend time and resources figuring out what that "else" is. I'm afraid of taking a step back, being further away from the conventional indicators of "success". I'm afraid to take a chance and try something new, something that I think I might enjoy and might be good at.

I think we live in a society where fear guides too many of our decisions. We're afraid of what people might think. I'm afraid of losing some security. I'm afraid that I might not choose the right path for myself. But why am I not afraid of inaction? My little self assignment this month is to let go of this fear. "I don't know" doesn't need to be scary - can't it be exciting?

I'm listening to...

Illustration Fridays

Ever heard of Illustration Friday? It's a website where every week, participants are invited to illustrate a new word, phrase, or idea. You have to upload a link to your illustration before each Friday of every week. This week's word was "double". Since it's my first contribution to the site, I had trouble picking exactly how I'd illustrate the concept. There are so many ways... the obvious first came to mind - double decker bus, double decker sandwich, twins, seeing double...

...double headed monster...

...double peanut...
...rolling a double......seeing your "double", i.e. reflection......double scoop......and, probably what I'll need this Friday.

I enjoyed this little exercise - I think I'll make a habit of it.

Sure, I'll work here...

From Find Splendid via design*sponge

This is pretty close to what I want my home office to look like, maybe with a little less clutter and more shelves. But it's darn close, and cute.

Deep Breaths

In the midst of this period of self discovery (i.e. freaking out about what to do next), it's important to take a few step backs, a few deep breaths, and enjoy the scenery... the view from my balcony last night (and pretty much every night) is amazing. It reminds me that even though I'm a little "unsettled" right now, I'm still in a very beautiful place.

DIY Rustic Cake Stand

My sister Kate is getting married next June.Her wonderful fiance owns a wilderness school. He and Kate are one of the most interesting couples I know. Take this, he hand carved her ring out of the deer antler he hunted by bow and arrow. I'll take it a step further - he also hand-made the bow and arrow that he used during the hunt, and carried the arrows in a deer hide carrier (also hand-made). Everything they do is as close to nature as possible. It's no wonder they want a rustic (but romantic) country wedding.

I'm helping Kate plan the affair and couldn't be more excited! Here's what we'll be doing for the cake stands, compliments of the creative team at Once Wed...

Go here for the DIY step-by-step instructions.

The Hive - Home of the Ritzy Bee

I've been a long time fan of the Ritzy Bee, but when I discovered this is where they house their business, I got even more excited about what they do. Check out Washington-based 'The Hive at 1511'. I love love love the idea of a "design house". The Hive is home to Ritzy Bee Events, SIMPLESONG Design, and Kate Headley photography. If I worked in this creative space, I think I'd be humming "zippity doo da" to myself every minute of every day.

So-balicious

Within a 5 second Google Search for a soba noodle salad, I stumbled upon this recipe. It's not too heavy (but is enough to fill you up), fresh with flavour (with mangoes and fresh herbs, straight from my balcony garden) and the best part - easy! It's the perfect summer salad. Leave it to Martha (& her talented creative team) to come up with this dish.

Asian Soba Noodle Salad - Serves 6

Ingredients
* 1/4 cup rice-wine vinegar
* 1 teaspoon grated peeled fresh ginger
* 2 teaspoons tamari or low-sodium soy sauce
* 1/4 teaspoon fish sauce
* 2 teaspoons freshly squeezed lime juice
* 2 pinches cayenne pepper
* 4 tablespoons safflower oil
* 1 teaspoon toasted sesame oil
* Coarse salt and freshly ground pepper
* 12 ounces soba noodles (not 100 percent soba)
* 1 green mango, peeled and julienned
* 1 large red pepper, stemmed, seeded, cored, and julienned
* 1 medium carrot, julienned
* 3 scallions, thinly sliced on the bias
* 1/4 cup thinly sliced fresh mint
* 1/4 cup thinly sliced fresh basil
* Lime wedges, for serving

Directions
1. In a small bowl, mix together vinegar, ginger, tamari, fish sauce, lime juice, and cayenne pepper. Slowly whisk in oils until well combined; season with salt and pepper. Set dressing aside.
2. Fill a medium pot of water and bring to a boil over high heat. Add soba noodles and cook according to the package directions, until al dente, 4 to 5 minutes. Drain and rinse with cold water.
3. Transfer noodles to a large bowl and add mango, red pepper, carrot, scallions, mint, and basil. Season with salt and pepper; toss to combine.
4. Drizzle with dressing; you may not need to use all the dressing. Serve salad with lime wedges.

Bizarro

Did anyone else in Ottawa notice how bizarro the sky was last week? I was lucky enough to be sitting out on my balcony with my Canon when the sun was setting. Eerie.

Backing & Forthing

[image via Audrey Hepburn Complex}

For those of you who know me well, you know I've been doing a lot of backing and forthing about where I want to go, how I want to do it, and when. In the past few weeks, I've been doing a lot of reading, hoping to pick up tidbits of inspiration that will make my decisions easier. But, the more I read, the more I realize that nothing can make the decision for me. Whatever I decide to do is bound only by the limitations I set upon myself. A couple of my favourite tidbits from Zen & the Art of Making a Living:

"Be patient toward all that is unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves."
- Rainer Maria Rilke

"You can't depend on your judgment when your imagination is out of focus."
- Mark Twain

"Don't listen to friends when the Friend inside you says, 'do this'."
- Gandhi

"Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear."
-Ambrose Redmoon

"The heart has its reasons that the mind knows nothing of."
-Blaise Pascal

Patience, please

If you haven't noticed, I've been playing with the html. Be patient with me. I'm learning. It's all part of my master plan. Changes coming soon!

Sunday

On Sunday I'm going to take some time to get back on track with things. May was such a busy month that I had no time to think, just do. June was a little less busy, which gave me time to recover from May. I find that the busier you are, the more you get done. I have nothing on my plate this Sunday, which gives me the time I need to refresh this idea, dust off the resume, do a bit of soul searching, oh, and lie on the floor of my apartment in sweltering heat. It's +40 degrees in the city and has been all week. Without A/C that's a problem.

I'm dreaming of the lake...

Today I feel...

Source: CREO zine

Wedding Hiatus

I've been on a little hiatus lately. This weekend was my sister's wedding. She was the perfect picture of a bride. She looked like she just walked straight off the pages of Martha Weddings. In fact, the entire day would've been Martha approved. It went so smoothly and in very Jenn-fashion, every detail added a little more character and charm. The weather was amazing, the scenery beautiful, guests happy, speeches heartfelt... I wish I could rewind time and do it all over again. Congratulations to my new brother-in-law and his beautiful (inside and out) bride.

3

My boyfriend's mom Annette is the successful franchise owner of a skincare and cosmetics company. Without a university degree, she's climbed her way from beauty consultant to franchise president and will be the first to attribute her success to having a vision and fully believing in what she does..

Recently she was talking about the power of 3. She believes that 3 is a powerful, symbolic number. Every day she writes her list for the day, things she wants to accomplish in the day, and she's also one to write out affirmations about who she is and who she wants to be.

She's asked me to try to come up with my lists -3 values that guide my life; 3 goals; and 3 things I'd like to master... This sounds easy, but it's actually kind of hard. I'm going to close my eyes and try to think about it for a minute...

...okay, I'm back.

3 Guiding Values:

1. Love - to love and be loved. This value could also be called
"Relationships".

2. Laughter - to find pleasure and humour in every day.

3. Honesty - live life fulfilled, being completely honest to yourself and others.

I just looked at the clock. It's already Tuesday morning. Arg. I don't have the brain power to continue tonight. I'll do my best to prioritize my top 3 goals and 3 skills I'd like to master after I get some shuteye. Goal #1. Remember to establish remaining goals...

In Ottawa - West Fest

This weekend my bff Olga is coming to visit. She couldn't have picked a better weekend to make the trek from Toronto.

Not only do I say that because she's going to help me bake the cake for my sister's wedding on June 19, but after the flour, sugar, and cocoa has been put back in the cupboard, we're going to head out to WestFest in Ottawa's Westboro village.

WESTFEST 2009

I've never been to WestFest, so I'm especially looking forward to it. We'll see Canadian and local multi-disciplinary artists, including music, performance arts, visual art, dance, photography, etc. Sloan is headlining on Saturday. I've never seen them before, nor have I ever been compelled to, but we'll check it out.

Amy is coming over on Saturday too. She'll help us with the cake, and is also bringing another craft. She's renting a button maker. So many ideas floating through my head. I can't wait for the creative weekend. I'll post pictures with my new Canon. :)

June: Dream

Today I feel...

Memory Lane

I was up until about 1:00am last night, working on the speech for Jenn's wedding I'm co-writing with my fellow MOH and other sister, Kate. I'm not going to post any snippits because I don't want to give anything away in the chance Jenn reads this, but I do want to say that I feel like in the past 12 hours, I've traveled back in time and relived some of my fondest memories, playing in the Vivian forest behind our childhood home, spending so much time outside that we'd inevitably smell like the fresh outdoors when we returned. I distinctly remember how my eyes would have to readjust to indoor lighting when we'd come back in after playing until sundown. And I remember the feeling of crusty dry leaves that would always somehow get under my shirt, in my hair, and in my socks.

Jenn, Kate, baby Sarah, 1986

What a fantastical childhood we shared. Our epic imaginary games were such real adventures. I wonder when the last time we played our favourite game, "Magic Kids", was. My sisters were magical sisters, named "Mickey" and "Nickey", and probably because I wasn't old enough to speak when we started playing this game, I was their magical cat, appropriately named "Little Cat" because I was about an inch in height. I was fluffy, white, and could make myself invisible, among many of our other magical abilities. Kate describes our adventures well. "We would instantly and magically “ding” ourselves to various locations around the world. We would also “ding” ourselves any food, clothing, horses and treasures we desired. To communicate in winter, all we had to do was blow frosty visible breath into the air; into this cloud the face of whomever we wanted to talk to would appear. This is often how our boss would assign us new missions." Move over Harry Potter.

Kate, Jenn, Sarah, 1990

Oh they say when you marry in June

My sister Jenn is getting married in about 2 weeks. When we were kids, my grandma Anne introduced us to "Seven Brides for Seven Brothers", a 1950s musical we'd watch over and over. I just can't stop humming this tune....

On / Off Switch

Admittedly, I've been up and down lately. One day I'm filled with ambition and the next I'm feeling sorry for myself for not being where I want to be right NOW. Ryan tells me I'm overly pensive. I have to agree. I think about things so much that I can make my situation 100 times more dramatic in my head. I have so many great things going on right now - I have a fantastic relationship, great friends, a wonderful family, a great apartment, security, health... so much more than so many people out there. I'm so fortunate. Poor Ryan - he gets the brunt of my colourful emotional rants. Here you go babe, just for you:

via Lolita

That being said, I don't think it's inappropriate to want to find your shtick (tangent: I just had to find where that word comes from, "shtick". Thanks wiki.).

ps. Just picked up my new Canon Rebel XS. Eeeeeeeeek! :)

Sweet Jane's Jacket

I've always loved the name Jane. It's sweet and simple. It's my mother's name and I'm proud to carry it on as my middle name. Sarah Jane just sounds nice. Sure, it's got a bit of country twang to it, but I think that suits. I really think I need this jacket (via auburn & ivory).

Happy Birthday to Me!

For my birthday, I'm buying a new DSLR camera. I'm leaning towards Canon, just because I trust the name, but moreso because I like the idea of being a "rebel". Can't wait to get this beauty in my hands.

Some disappointing news: I called OCAD (Ontario College of Art and Design) today to see about the earliest possible time I could start. I've learned it's not until September 2011. On the bright side, I have all the time in the world to build a solid portfolio and do more soul searching.

Today I feel...

via Audrey Hepburn Complex

Food Fight

I just finished watching the film "Food Inc." If you haven't seen it, you should. It'll give you some "food for thought" about the American food industry. I'd like to think where I live, our food system isn't completely controlled by industry giants, but with our close ties to the States, it makes me second guess that. (Click on the image to preview the Food Inc Trailer).



I've challenged myself this summer - buy all my fruit and vegetables from the local Byward Market farmers. Every summer they have booth after booth of fresh garden goodness. We picked up bags of crisp green beans, 4 sweet bell peppers, potatoes, tomatoes, wild garlic, onions, and zucchini for $15! And we got a lot, I mean, three grocery bags full! Ryan made me an amazing vegetable casserole on my birthday, and we have leftovers to last us a month! My friend Megan gave me Smith & MacKinnon's "The 100-Mile Diet". Buying my fruit and veggies at the market is a small, achievable goal. We'll see if after reading this book, I'll be willing to take it to the next level...

I'm 24.

As of 4:57 am, May 29th, 2010, I begin my 25th year. How is it that 24 sounds so much older than 23? Is it just me? I guess I think, "hey, 23 is just one year older than 22... which is just one year older than 21... which is just a couple years away from being a teenager"... okay, I know, a stretch. But still, today I feel older. I get reassuring comments from my friends (all of whom seem to be a couple years older than me) reminding me that 24 is still very young in the scheme of things, with the undertone of "what the heck is she complaining about?! I'm older than she is and she's telling me SHE's old?" ;)

I wouldn't say I'm upset about getting older. I'm not, really. I'm happy with the person I'm becoming with each passing day. I'm especially excited for this year, because this year, I'm going to make some exciting things happen for myself.

Right now I'm looking at some art schools. I scoffed at some of these while I was in high school because they were just "colleges" to me at the time. If I could talk to 17 year old me right now, I'd give myself the same talk my art teacher gave me back then - "GAH! You need to go to school for art, Sarah! What are you thinking leaving this behind?! GAHHH!" In my head there were only two options - i. go to art school and become a starving artist, or ii. go to school for business, make some money, then figure out what I really want to do. Had I just put i. before ii. I may have realized I could have both without the starving part. This wisdom only comes from trial and error. 17 year old Sarah probably would still be as stubborn if 24 year old me were to travel back in time and give her a talking to. There's no point wondering "what if" because that's what's brought me here today. I wouldn't have made the friends I've made, I wouldn't have met my man, I wouldn't have experienced so many more things that coming to school in Ottawa has given me.

No regrets. Just some lessons learned, and some new found ambition to make things right, embracing my nature as an artist.

Zen & the Art of Making a Living

I'm not the only one on a quest to find purpose in this world. It seems so many friends around me are seeking the same truth. Where should I focus my energy? What do I love enough to spend almost every day of my life doing? My high school friend, Ali is asking the same questions in her blog "Where's My Calling?" and another friend of a friend I've found in my facebook feed, Vanessa, is hoping to find her life's zen, captured in her blog "The Year of Passion".

Maybe it's our age group - the early to mid-twenties. In the past year I feel like I've literally stood still and watched the world turn in front of me. It's as if childhood was a dream. One day turns to another in a whirl of colour and play. A life dictated by play continues on through high school, university, and even a few years after that, caught in the phase between dream and waking. For me, it's as if I've just been awaken. It's the morning, but I can still relive my dream perfectly in my mind. My childhood was fun, spontaneous, uncommitted, jovial, care-free, exciting. In no way do I want to lose that. Au contraire. My dilemma is trying to harness that excitement every day, but with a purpose. I suppose I want to transform my sense of play into love for what I do (play+work=love). Work and play can't be separate.

A passage from Zen & the Art of Making a Living explains this well:

"Life and work are not things apart. Work is more than gaining privileges and possessions; it is ongoing, ecstatic, living experience. When we really love what we are doing, we no longer feel as though we must be king. We can just be ALIVE at work. When we live in the bliss, there is no difficulty that is insurmountable. If we miss the bliss, there is no compensation that is adequate." (15)

It's not the person I remember saying this, it's the message that has stayed with me over the years. I think it was one of my teachers, but I can't remember exactly. He or she said something along these lines: "So many people spend all their energy trying to determine their passion. When asking yourself, 'what do I want be when I grow up?', you need not look very hard. Often times, your passion is right in front of your nose. It's what you love to do and therefore do well. It's your favourite hobby or past time. When you translate this into your life's work, that's when you'll be complete."

The only thing I've ever truly loved is art. Not necessarily fine art, but any type of creative art. I love creating, designing, crafting, building, matching, pairing, painting, sculpting, sketching, doodling... the list goes on. I never thought that these "fun" things could be work. I'm envious of those who knew that from the start! Arg.

I think I've finally chosen a direction. Now I just need the tenacity to work with it. Tomorrow is my birthday. Let's see what the next year holds...

Pretty in Pink

Look what I just bought! Isn't it pretty? Let me tell you why this wonderful customized headband is all the more special...

Just over a year ago now, two of my favourite highschool friends, Olga & Ali, started FictionFaction. FictionFaction is a line of unique, one-of-a-kind, handmade headbands and hair accessories that are designed from both new and vintage materials. This business started out of a hobby to pass the winter blues. It impresses and motivates me to see how far they've come in such a short period of time, harnessing their endless creativity and fashion, and putting to use the business skills they learned in University. Too many of us graduate, land jobs, and forget about pursuing the things that make us really really happy. Kudos to Ali & Olga for making it a reality!

The pieces are developed with a mix of new materials and embellished with vintage and antique jewellery from all over the globe, generously donated to the Company by friends and family or carefully selected at vintage stores and antique markets. No two pieces are ever duplicated, ensuring that you receive a truly unique and one of a kind accessory. Get this, Olga named this beauty after Tiddily Pom, my childhood teddy. All the more reason to smile when I wear it.

Ambition

“The very substance of the ambitious is merely the shadow of a dream.”-William Shakespeare