What do I do at this juncture in my life? Is it okay to say, "I don't know?" Is that a fair response? I don't feel like it is... There are so many things that I want in life, but none of those "things" really matter. I want a home, I want a family, I want a great kitchen, nice wine glasses, good shoes... what girl doesn't want these things? But, behind all these wants, there's this great big feeling inside my gut that tells me I need to spend less time working towards these things and more time working towards figuring out what I really want.
The big question - what do I do with my life? My big answer - I don't know! It's so hard pin pointing it down. I'm 24. I'm afraid that if I stop what I'm doing now, I'll lose my steady paycheque, my "progress" in the business, my ability to buy the aforementioned "things" for myself... At the same time, I feel like my "progress" in the industry isn't bringing me closer to where I want to be. One thing I know for certain is that what I'm doing today is not what I want to be doing a year from now. So, based on this assertion, shouldn't it be easier to say, "okay, then do something else!?" I'm afraid that I'll spend time and resources figuring out what that "else" is. I'm afraid of taking a step back, being further away from the conventional indicators of "success". I'm afraid to take a chance and try something new, something that I think I might enjoy and might be good at.
I think we live in a society where fear guides too many of our decisions. We're afraid of what people might think. I'm afraid of losing some security. I'm afraid that I might not choose the right path for myself. But why am I not afraid of inaction? My little self assignment this month is to let go of this fear. "I don't know" doesn't need to be scary - can't it be exciting?
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