What I do late at night

Typically when I'm home alone at nights, I end up staying up way too late, eating one chocolate too many, and inevitable getting lost in the whirlpool that is my mind.

What do I do at this juncture in my life? Is it okay to say, "I don't know?" Is that a fair response? I don't feel like it is... There are so many things that I want in life, but none of those "things" really matter. I want a home, I want a family, I want a great kitchen, nice wine glasses, good shoes... what girl doesn't want these things? But, behind all these wants, there's this great big feeling inside my gut that tells me I need to spend less time working towards these things and more time working towards figuring out what I really want.

The big question - what do I do with my life? My big answer - I don't know! It's so hard pin pointing it down. I'm 24. I'm afraid that if I stop what I'm doing now, I'll lose my steady paycheque, my "progress" in the business, my ability to buy the aforementioned "things" for myself... At the same time, I feel like my "progress" in the industry isn't bringing me closer to where I want to be. One thing I know for certain is that what I'm doing today is not what I want to be doing a year from now. So, based on this assertion, shouldn't it be easier to say, "okay, then do something else!?" I'm afraid that I'll spend time and resources figuring out what that "else" is. I'm afraid of taking a step back, being further away from the conventional indicators of "success". I'm afraid to take a chance and try something new, something that I think I might enjoy and might be good at.

I think we live in a society where fear guides too many of our decisions. We're afraid of what people might think. I'm afraid of losing some security. I'm afraid that I might not choose the right path for myself. But why am I not afraid of inaction? My little self assignment this month is to let go of this fear. "I don't know" doesn't need to be scary - can't it be exciting?

I'm listening to...

Illustration Fridays

Ever heard of Illustration Friday? It's a website where every week, participants are invited to illustrate a new word, phrase, or idea. You have to upload a link to your illustration before each Friday of every week. This week's word was "double". Since it's my first contribution to the site, I had trouble picking exactly how I'd illustrate the concept. There are so many ways... the obvious first came to mind - double decker bus, double decker sandwich, twins, seeing double...

...double headed monster...

...double peanut...
...rolling a double......seeing your "double", i.e. reflection......double scoop......and, probably what I'll need this Friday.

I enjoyed this little exercise - I think I'll make a habit of it.

Sure, I'll work here...

From Find Splendid via design*sponge

This is pretty close to what I want my home office to look like, maybe with a little less clutter and more shelves. But it's darn close, and cute.

Deep Breaths

In the midst of this period of self discovery (i.e. freaking out about what to do next), it's important to take a few step backs, a few deep breaths, and enjoy the scenery... the view from my balcony last night (and pretty much every night) is amazing. It reminds me that even though I'm a little "unsettled" right now, I'm still in a very beautiful place.

DIY Rustic Cake Stand

My sister Kate is getting married next June.Her wonderful fiance owns a wilderness school. He and Kate are one of the most interesting couples I know. Take this, he hand carved her ring out of the deer antler he hunted by bow and arrow. I'll take it a step further - he also hand-made the bow and arrow that he used during the hunt, and carried the arrows in a deer hide carrier (also hand-made). Everything they do is as close to nature as possible. It's no wonder they want a rustic (but romantic) country wedding.

I'm helping Kate plan the affair and couldn't be more excited! Here's what we'll be doing for the cake stands, compliments of the creative team at Once Wed...

Go here for the DIY step-by-step instructions.

The Hive - Home of the Ritzy Bee

I've been a long time fan of the Ritzy Bee, but when I discovered this is where they house their business, I got even more excited about what they do. Check out Washington-based 'The Hive at 1511'. I love love love the idea of a "design house". The Hive is home to Ritzy Bee Events, SIMPLESONG Design, and Kate Headley photography. If I worked in this creative space, I think I'd be humming "zippity doo da" to myself every minute of every day.